01 / LEAD GUITAR
CHRIS HAYES
Wanted for excessive guitar-related ambition. Presumed armed with six strings.
WESTPORT, COUNTY MAYO, IRELAND · EST. 2007
THE GREATEST BAND YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WARNED ABOUT
THE
DELINGQUENTS
THE COMEBACK NOBODY ASKED FOR.
Not touring. Not recording. Not entirely ruled out.
REUNION
STATUS
UNCONFIRMED★★★★★
STATUS
UNCONFIRMED★★★★★
FOUR MUSICIANS. ONE QUESTIONABLE LEGACY. ZERO CONFIRMED DATES.
“We have absolutely no plans to announce that we may be considering the possibility of getting back together.”
— MANAGEMENT (ALLEGEDLY)01 / HISTORY, MORE OR LESS
THE LEGEND BEGINS.
A story so improbable that it can only be the official biography.
EXHIBIT A: PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF ACTUAL PERFORMANCESAUTHENTIC
2007
CHAOS
2007
CHAOS
According to the band's entirely trustworthy original history, four prodigies emerged from the Ural Mountains, trained in music by wolves and highly qualified accountants.
A mysterious stork named Horace whisked them off to Ireland, became their manager, and gave them a name. Unfortunately, he only noticed he'd misspelled “Delinquents” after the advertising had gone out.
Thus, The Delingquents were born. The spelling was wrong. The confidence was not.
In the version of events less likely to involve a talking stork, the group formed in Westport, County Mayo, in late summer 2007, wrote original songs and made home recordings.
MEET THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE ↗02 / PERSONS OF INTEREST
MEET THE SUSPECTS.
Four men. Four instruments. Several unresolved questions.
02 / BASS
AUSTEN SMITH
According to band folklore, born with a bass guitar attached. The doctors had questions.
03 / VOCALS
SEAN MEEHAN
The voice of a generation. Which generation remains under investigation.
04 / DRUMS
CIAN McGUIRE
Responsible for keeping time, despite the band's extended relationship with inactivity.
03 / THE EVIDENCE LOCKER
THE VIDEO VAULT.
Seven rare recordings. Several questionable performances. Some may have escaped custody.
Videos are hosted by YouTube. Availability depends on the original uploads; a missing video is not proof of a cover-up.
04 / THE GLOBAL EXPERIENCE
WORLD TOUR 2027?*
The logistics are complicated. The enthusiasm is imaginary.
DATELOCATIONSTATUS
TBAWESTPORT, IRELANDVENUE NOT INFORMED
TBACASTLEBAR, IRELANDTRANSPORT PENDING
TBALAS VEGAS, USAVERY UNLIKELY
TBATHE MOONTECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
05 / DEVELOPING SITUATION
REUNION WATCH.
Our scientifically meaningless reunion probability calculator.
7%
CHANCE OF A REUNION*● CURRENT STATUS: EXTREMELY UNCONFIRMEDHOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY.
HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY.
IT IS OUR ENTIRE PLAN.
The Delingquents may reunite at some point in the future, provided everybody agrees, remembers the songs, and can find somewhere to park.
*Random number generator. No contact with band members has occurred.
✳
AN OFFICIAL MESSAGE FROM MANAGEMENTHORACE THE STORK
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.
Due to unprecedented public indifference, the band's management office has been permanently closed.
All booking enquiries, reunion proposals, record deals and legal threats should be directed to Horace the Stork.
His whereabouts are unknown. His phone is disconnected. His commitment to the band remains questionable.
PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US.
WE'RE VERY BUSY DOING NOTHING.
WE'RE VERY BUSY DOING NOTHING.
This is an official non-contact page. No messages are being accepted, forwarded or even considered.